Welcome to our live blog of the 2012 Academy Awards!
7:30pm – And the 84th Academy Awards begins…
7:31 pm – Billy Crystal’s opening video is pretty funny. As much as I hate George Clooney, that was hilarious seeing him kiss Billy Crystal while riding a two wheel scooter.
7:32pm – F***in’ stupid Bieber…
7:34 pm – Billy Crystal in The Help!
7:37 pm – James Earl Jones! See, told you he was awesome.
7:41 pm – You know how you always hear complaints about how awards shows always go on for too long, this is probably why. Billy Crystal can take 5+ minutes singing and dancing, but I guarantee you when the winners go up to give their speech, the “Wrap It Up” music will start playing after about two minutes.
7:42 pm – Dude. Tom Hanks, always great.
7:44 pm – First Oscar of the night, Hugo‘s Robert Richardson (sporting some long ass hippie hair!) for Best Cinematography.
7:45 pm – Hugo again for Best Art Direction.
7:48 pm – Did anybody see Sacha Baron Cohen dressed as “The Dictator” drop Kim Jong Il’s “ashes” on Ryan Seacrest? Pretty damn funny stuff, the look on Seacrest’s face was priceless. I’ll try to post up the video in a little bit.
7:53 pm – Pretty cool montage of movie clips…of course, they’d include a Billy Crystal film.
7:54 pm – Ugh, Jennifer Lopez. Go away and put on your sleep mask…
7:56 pm – Sweet! First win for The Artist for Best Costume Design, here’s hoping for more awards.
7:58 pm – The Iron Lady wins for Best Make Up.
8:01 pm – How awesome would it be if an actor came out during one of these “Special Movie Moments” and says their favorite movie recollection was something obscure like the reveal of the killer in Sleepaway Camp or something like bed devouring scene in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be a horror film, anything from Team America: World Police would work just as well.
8:06 pm – I love you Sandra Bullock!
8:08 pm – A Separation wins for Best Foreign Film. It’s too bad The Skin I Live In wasn’t nominated though.
8:09 pm – Christian Bale is presenting Best Supporting actress. Berenice Bejo is very pretty. Melissa McCarthy was hilarious in Bridesmaids, but I’m rooting for Octavia Spencer.
8:12 pm – Best Supporting Actress winner Octavia Spencer! Congratulations!
8:14 pm – So, I’m thinking about my Octavia Spencer post and how she went from being in a Rob Zombie movie and getting brutally butchered by Michael Myers to winning an Academy Award. Pretty freakin’ cool.
8:19 pm – I’ve picked out three American Pie alums in this The Wizard of Oz focus group video. Hey, there’s Catherine O’Hara.
8:24 pm – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo wins for Best Editing, very left field win.
8:25 pm – That’s going to be me when I when an award, flustered up onstage.
8:26 pm – Hugo wins Best Sound Editing.
8:27 pm – If they ever make a Martin Scorsese bio pic, I nominate Eugene Levy for the role, they look surprisingly alike.
8:28 pm – Hugo wins Best Sound Mixing, Hugo’s cleaning up isn’t it? His stuff definitely sounds better than the best white noise machine that I’ve owned.
8:34 pm – Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy!
8:37 pm – This Cirque de Soleil performance is pretty damn cool. I’m loving the scenes playing in the background. Don’t cut to George Clooney and his pretty girlfriend damn it, I want to see the performers!
8:41 pm – This Robert Downey Jr and Gwyneth Paltrow presentation is hilarious.
8:42 pm – Undefeated wins Best Documentary Feature.
8:44 pm – Bam! They said a bad word and seconds later, the ‘Wrap It Up” music starts playing…coincidence?
8:45 pm – Chris Rock! Ha!
8:46 pm – Come on Rango!
8:47 pm – Rango wins for Best Animated Feature! F*** yeah! Great movie.
8:50 pm – Hey Pixar, you probably should have released Brave last year, maybe you could have kept your Oscar streak going, but nooooo… you just had to release Cars 2 didn’t you?
8:52 pm – Funny bit with Billy Crystal and Melissa McCarthy, haha. I love Emma Stone, she’s so cute and adorable. This bit she’s doing with Ben Stiller is funny too.
8:54 pm – Nice dig at Stiller there Ms. Emma Stone, nice. Haha.
8:55 pm – Rooting for Rise of the Planet of the Apes…
8:56 pm – Hugo wins for Best Visual Effects, Rise of the Planet of the Apes was robbed! Robbed I tells ya!
9:00 pm – Max von Sydow or Christopher Plummer…
9:01 pm – Christopher Plummer wins Best Supporting Actor setting a record for oldest Oscar winner. Congrats!
9:04 pm – The “In Memoriam” segment is about to come up, I see they’ve included Whitney Houston.
9:08 pm – Morgan Freeman!
9:11 pm – Billy Crystal is a great host, I can see why this is his ninth time doing this. So much better than Ricky Gervais, I only bring this up because I really dislike Gervais – has has nothing to add about the best flat iron for natural hair.
9:12 pm – I really dislike Owen Wilson too.
9:14 pm – The Artist wins Best Original Score! The composer won the Golden Globe last month for the same category.
9:16 pm – Nice reference to how unpronounceable Zack Gilafinakimasous last name is…
9:18 pm – The Muppets wins Best Original Song!
9:25 pm – Is anybody as tired of Angelina Jolie as I am?
9:26 pm – The Descendents wins for Best Adapted Screenplay, Dean Pelton strikes a pose.
9:30 pm – Midnight in Paris wins for Best Original Screenplay, Woody Allen doesn’t show up, probably porking his step daughter. Too soon?
9:33 pm – Here’s that video of Sacha Baron Cohen and Ryan Seacrest I mentioned earlier…
9:38 pm – The ladies from Bridesmaids are onstage, Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph are making sexual innuendos. Kristin Wiig is very pretty.
9:40 pm – The Shore wins Best Live Action Short Film.
9:41 pm – Awesome! Rose Byrne and Melissa McCarthy continue the Scorsese drinking game from the SAG Awards. Rose Byrne is very pretty.
9:42 pm – Saving Face wins for Best Documentary Short Subject.
9:44 pm – Ellie Kemper and Wendi McLendon-Covey are now talking. Ellie Kemper is very pretty.
9:46 pm – The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore wins Best Animated Short.
9:51 pm – Michael Douglas on stage presenting Best Director. I’ve got my finger’s crossed for The Artist‘s Michel Hazanavicius…
9:53 pm – Michel Hazanavicius won! Sweet!
9:55 pm – Meryl Streep is presenting The Governor’s Award, her track record of 17 nominations is referenced.
9:57 pm – Oprah Winfrey, James Earl Jones (see awesomeness!), and Dick Smith are all receiving honorary awards. Congrats.
10:03 pm – In Memoriam…Jane Russell, Annie Girardot, John Calley, Polly Platt, Ken Russell, Donald Peterman, Farley Granger, Whitney Houston, Bingham Ray, Tak Miyagishima, Bert Schneider, Michael Cacoyannis, David Z.Goodman, James Rodnunsky, Peter E. Berger, Jack J. Hayes, Peter Falk, Cliff Robertson, Laura Ziskin, Sidney Lumet, Sue Mengers, Steve Jobs, George Kuchar, Hal Kanter, Theadora Van Runkle, Tim Hetherington, Gene Cantamessa, Gary Winick, Bill Varney, Jackie Cooper, Gilbert Cates, Richard Leacock, James M. Roberts, Marion Doughtery, Norman Corwin, Paul John Haggar, Joseph Farrell, Ben Gazzara, Elizabeth Taylor…to the tune of “What A Wonderful World”.
10:11 pm – I like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, good actor.
10:12 pm – Patton Oswalt, funny guy.
10:13 pm – Billy Crystal, his first line after the video clip of actors talking about acting, “I’ve never felt that way” was just good comedic timing.
10:14 pm – Best Actor is being presented by the lovely Natalie Portman.
10:16 pm – Jean Dujardin for The Artist, fingers crossed…
10:17 pm – Gary Oldman, fantastic actor. Really could appreciate some respectable reviews about him.
10:18 pm – Jean Dujardin won for Best Actor! Congrats!
10:21 pm – Two more awards left: Best Actress and Best Picture. I’m rooting for Viola Davis for The Help for Best Actress and The Artist for Best Film.
10:24 pm – Colin Firth is presenting Best Actress.
10:25 pm – Glenn Close makes an UGLY man. Viola Davis, fingers crossed.
10:26 pm – Rooney Mara is odd looking, her sister Kate however, very pretty (yes, I find lots of actresses to be “very pretty”)
10:27 pm – Meryl Streep may be Viola’s biggest competition, if she does win, lets hope she doesn’t spit on anybody like she spit on Lisa Simpson (like that reference Chesscat?)
10:28 pm – Michelle Williams is very….cute. Ah, see what I did there?
10:29 pm – Meryl Streep wins Best Actress, congrats!
10:32 pm – What??? Tom Cruise is presenting Best Film? Blech.
10:33 pm – Come on The Artist! I would be just as thrilled if The Help wins.
10:35 pm – And the award for Best Film goes to…
10:36 pm – The Artist! Well deserved, fantastic film. Congratulations!
10:38 pm – And the 84th Academy Awards comes to an end.
10:39 pm – I’m gonna watch The Walking Dead…